As I rehearse my solo performance I am exploring the emotions behind each of my losses, and how these are conveyed through body language, facial expressions, eye contact and posture.
The first loss is losing the will to live. During this I will stretch out my body, portray a dazed expression and let my eyes wander lazily. I will start to fidget,moving my shoulders awkwardly and open my eyes wide, wanting time to whizz away. During the loss of my mobile phone signal, I will clench my fist, and sigh a lot. I will rub my lips in frustration and tap my foot , annoyed at the situation. In the losing my wallet scenario I will clench my teeth and look despairingly to the floor and audience. I will put my hands to my head and shout into nothingness, red with embarrassment. During the loss of my appetite snippet of the performance, I will purse my lips and lean forward then squint uncomfortably, scrunching my shoulders, feeling awkward. When I portray the loss of faith I will look around helplessly, lean forward and clasp my hands as though praying then realize this is not working, an expression of hope. The loss of time is constituted through placing my hands as a sequence,one after the other, trying to remember what I need to do. I will breathe heavily and press my hands to my head, wanting the ticking to stop, expressing desperation. After this, to act losing my marbles I will glance around cautiously, blinking. My mouth will be slightly open and I will squint my eyes. I will be motionless, gazing with suspect at everyone as though vulnerable, examining my hands to check if I feel well , as I hold my hand to my head, an expression of confusion and senselessness.
The next loss I need to portray is the loss of an opportunity at which I will be outraged. My fist will be clenched and I will be itching to move out of my seat. I will be open mouthed, aghast at what has happened and rock my head as though unable to believe the situation. When acting the loss of confidence my body will be shaking and my teeth chattering. I will keep feeling my neck and hand and puff up my cheeks as though feeling unwell. I will scrunch my body up into a ball and in a frightened manner shrink back , my head shrunken. As I perform the loss of a pet my lips will quiver guiltily and I will clasp my hands to my face, not daring or wanting to look. The loss then gets ever more serious as I act the loss of a loved one, crying uncontrollably, all the emotions associated with loss merged into one. This explodes into angry wails in demonstrating the emotions behind the loss of life. Then in the finale of the piece ,I will act by sobbing , unable to comprehend the situation, then guiltily apologizing for the turmoil within the situations I have put others through. Then I will wipe the tears, and breathe a sigh of relief. However, as I sit more comfortably my eye twitches and I wince, sobbing quietly to myself, as I realize the loss is never forgotten.
Here’s a selection of some of the facial expressions I portrayed in rehearsals
These ideas may be expanded on in future rehearsals. I must ensure though that I don’t exaggerate any emotions . play the piece realistically and act in the moment rather than what the recording is telling me to. I will draw upon Stanislavski’s magic if to create the scenario’s and clearly express these through my emotions. I’ve also decided I will deliver these with my glasses removed, so that expressions can be clearer, and to give a portrayal of already being warn out and exhausted .