Author: Christopher Greg Sellers

After completing my final solo performance I thought I presented the emotion of loss incredibly well. Successful areas of my presentation where firstly the way I entered the performance space. I entered rather slowly due to this , the audience were able to clearly see my state of mind before the thoughts enter it. It displays that this process happens a great deal. I furthermore used the space well when I entered and sat down, I took a breath before getting dressed. My expression was one of  hope and exhaustion , the reality of being faced with a working day after past traumatic experiences.

In  addition, I coped with my emotions very well, not exaggerating any or demonstrating my moods. Instead, I tried to ignore the voice at times and continue with tasks, and continued in this manner until I couldn’t proceed, racing through activities to attempt to stop the voice. Although it was an accidental happening, when I was having a shave the razor blade fell off. I reacted to this naturally, as the incremental losses took control of my life more and more, and psychological stress took it’s toll,. There was then a period of time in which I spoke about the severe losses of life, and in which I broke down, and silently looked for things to do to combat the loss , and  eventually  gave up , my body weighing down on me. This was done very naturalistically and with eye contact with the audience at all times . However, this didn’t linger and so there were no pauses but the  normal everyday structure was broken, a successful point of my performance.

Thirdly, the process of finding the props onstage was realistically performed as I searched as though I didn’t know where they were in my distracted state . My facial expressions also lent themselves well to this,. They stopped me from demonstrating, as I tried to keep my facial expressions expression, displaying that until the loss surrounded me , the activity kept me busy, and the emotions were screaming in my head, not in the situation. To aid me in this I clearly worked out my problems in my head, and invited the audience to share in this. This supported the audience in following my journey whilst again keeping the situation real. The posture, too seemed to contribute well to anxiety , depicting a normal routine that is ruined by psychological stress.

Finally, the technical elements impacted very well on my performance. The monologue itself was very clear and expressed feelings with beautiful language. I never specified any of losses making the generalization to everyone greater, and I also performed this and the tasks as a rhythm , displaying an interesting pattern for the audience. The microphone technique was excellent, as no blasting or popping were apparent plus the amount of information on each of the losses was written and recorded with potent realism. An individual would naturally want to express less about the  loss of a loved one than of a  wallet, at which they rant furiously. Amalgamating with this , the lighting was simple and effective, displaying the time of day very well, and giving the audience time to adjust to the situation. Lastly, I used many props to decorate the scene as a bedroom, which lent itself  very well to imagining  the room realistically. It also operated on  a metaphorical level,  reflecting the mind’s state, cluttered.

On a negative note, however, there were many things I could have improved on within my performance. Firstly, I should have reacted to the monologue with a more gradual reaction at the start, as it looked slightly melodramatic. I needed to focus my mind away from the language of the monologue as it seemed that  in that first reaction I was demonstrating the thoughts . As I processed through the monologue I also looked down , and not at the audience enough. Thus, my eye level wasn’t connected to the audience and the audience weren’t to the character and performance as much as I could have . Due to this habit, I didn’t look in the mirror enough. The mirror is a device in which I can showcase my reactions and interact with myself and my emotions more. I tended to play everything upstage so didn’t stand in front of the mirror , and examine myself enough, instead motoring through the activities. Furthermore, when I did stand next to the mirror I lost concentration on the performances slightly.

Further to this, I could have improved on my transitions of emotional states. I had a long atmosphere of me coping well and not letting the loss bother me, and this was too unrealistic. To develop on this I should have portrayed more subtle states in which my mind is racing in trying to complete the activities but my body is full of exhaustion , instead of completing the activities to the best of my ability. Towards the end of the performance, I paused in one place on the stage for too long, and dithered between different moments, almost as though unsure what to do. This was acceptable for a time but this state continued for too long . I should have used the space more to travel to a sitting position, making more use of different levels and postures. In other words, this would ensure that I don’t stop without anything to do, and to start searching for something, instead proceed through the activity, and if the pressure gets too much, retire , or lie down , not stop and contemplate.

Final instances that need to be improved were my exit from the performance space. I should have exited slower, as the profound moment in which I look into the mirror was lost slightly. The expression and focus that I maintained for that final moment were great, but this is a sad , lingering event and so I needed to respond to it accurately. Technically, my monologue should have, in parts been delivered slower, as occasionally the pace lost some of the clarity. I also needed to project more on parts, as my voice was lost. The pauses between losses were slightly too long, especially in the conclusion. I didn’t remember to construct the final few losses as though they were one continuous thought and thus the rhythm seemed too jagged, and uncontrolled, not mirroring real life. I also , lastly, could have differentiated between different tones of voice slightly more.

 

To conclude I thought I would examine some of the other solo performances that I have watched, and parts  which have inspired me if I was complete this task again. Shane Humberstone’s solo performance inspired through the characters he constructed, and their incorporation of the space. He mutli-roled as different characters , analyzing various issues that affected them. He brought members of the audience into the scene to be the other (silent) character  He travelled between scenes  as a teenage yob, to a feminine hairdresser, to a football fan, and when portraying the hairdresser he reminded me of an exaggerated version of Adrian Howells.  His change of character was spontaneous and certified a different posture, body language, and emotional makeup. I could see my character undergoing different reactions in different spaces , alike to Shane. I could also imagine talking scenario’s over with members of the audience for them to receive a clearer impact on what the scenario is doing to my psychological stability.

Secondly, I was inspired by Tom Baines solo performance , in particular his method of sustaining a character. He played an aged professor taking a lecture on Preparing For Second Year at University. He sustained his posture, voice and mannerisms to display he wasn’t familiar with technology. I was also impressed with the realism of the situation, as he left the lecture to take a phone call and didn’t return.  These two attributes are examples of ways  I could improve my performance , sustaining emotions or motivation on a task and the realism of the situation. Steph’s stand up comedy performance inspired me in different ways . I was interested in how she entered from her set , a blanket fort Using some of Spalding Grey’s motives  she debated over life experiences and even finished with a song, Here’s My CV, portraying, in comic fashion, the true reality of life after University. I could take this piece of information and turn my conscience thoughts into a song though to not exaggerate my profound performance more instead give them more rhythm.

A final inspiring performance was Jade Beastrall’s. She delivered a Shakespearean speech to the audience , then began instructing us on the actor within , addressing the actor as an empty seat. What especially inspired me in Jade’s presentation was when she used multimedia elements to display a film of her mirroring her live performance, and what was particularly captivating was  when she stood in front of the projected image, and both the projection and live image became one. I could have improved on my performance by utilizing projections rather than a mirror, the projections perhaps pervading emotions. There will then be times, during the performance, in which I will cross the projections, pacing backwards and forwards for instance, and when realizing my fate, that the loss will return, merging in with the projection as one.

To conclude, this module has taught me many aspects about solo performance. I have explored a range of different solo performance styles from various solo practitioners .  These practitioners have influenced my work , which has journeyed and developed  to showcase one of my passions, experiences and something that is applicable to everyone. This module has aided me in the realization  that solo performance is a lot more than standing there individually performing, instead investigating and fine tuning the dimensions that a solo performance can take.

With only two days to go until my performance, I have asked certain questions to myself, with help from my lecturer, to clarify exactly what dimensions my solo presentation will take.

I decided to ask myself a list of questions regarding my performance that I was unsure about and, with the help of my lecturer, clarify these issues .

I asked the questions

• Was I right performing a personal routine, by my own method of getting ready in the morning (eg, cleaning my glasses, putting creams on my feet for excema) or should I do the routine very plainly, only involving aspects which everyone does?
• Secondly, should each section of my monologue still be acted with a different tone of voice or at the same level? Do I need to create a rhythm in the monologue or does it come about through the actions live?
• Would it be a good idea if I paused from exhaustion less in the piece, and just tried to get on with the activity? Perhaps not pause at all after the start of the monologue, just completing an activity?
• Should I incorporate a lesser gap or none at all at the end of the monologue? When the thoughts get quite intense, and the time spent stating the emotions becomes shorter maybe not take a pause? – in the conclusion of the monologue in which I discuss loss of life and of love. I’m thinking I wouldn’t have time to to digest the information as the thoughts are coming too fast?

The answers to these questions can be located on this link –

Queseitons and answers to clarify the performance

 

I also clarified with my tutor about the use of a mirror. I pondered on having my back to the audience and letting them see the reflection of me through the mirror. I thought it displayed the fact that sometimes you might find you stare into the mirror and see your real emotions, no longer being masked. I thought it further portrayed the prime notion to the audience, that when the character looks into the mirror they realise their loss. However, this method didn’t display any emotion to the audience and also , in aiding the naturalness of the scene, portrayed that when completing the activities the loss doesn’t move me at all.

I considered using the audience as a metaphorical mirror. The emotions would then be very clear to the audience and I would always also be directed towards them, without the need of any props to obstruct the audience’s view. We all look at the inner reflection of ourselves and sometimes don’t see quite what we want to. However, it was decided that this construction would be abandoned as I couldn’t imagine how looking at the audience would communicate to it that it is a mirror of a character.

I have finally decided to add more props to the scene- tissues, dvd’s, a mattress, sweets, laptop) go give the impression that the audience are viewing my bedroom.

 

At my technical rehearsal for my solo performance I developed my ideas to create a finalized performance.

I have implanted the final lighting changes, in a pre- performance set of a bright white wash over the audience, dim lighting on the stage. This will then be altered on my entrance; a bright wash covering the whole performance space. There will be a sudden change from lighting states , as though I have entered my room and turned the light on. At the end of the performance, there will be a 5 second fade as I exit the performance space. Sound wise, the recording will start when I enter the performance space, and the end of this will signal the end of the performance.

I have also decided to implement props, obviously items that I need to get changed (towel, clothes, glasses spray, shaver, aftershave, hairbrush). I have contemplated setting the performance space like my bedroom , however I then realized that this wouldn’t add anything to my performance, as the concentration is on the regimented activity and it’s juxtaposition to the monologue. However, I do feel it is important to decorate the space with a few props so that it does resemble my bedroom and not an empty studio, adding a lamp and a couple of books, and possibly a laptop too. I have staged a table and coffee table, with all my props laid out on, as though a desk and makeshift bed.  I have determined that my room will look a mess to add realism to represent student accommodation, the environment I want to try and create, personal to me yet the scene is applicable to the audience. I have ruminated over the addition of a mirror too . The mirror will aid me as I use it when brushing my hair, having a shave, adding naturalness to the scene. Yet, the mirror will be a tool for being reminded of the loss when I stare into it wistfully at the end of the performance, reminding myself that the loss will never be forgotten. I am pondering using a frame instead, which will act as a mirror in resembling it’s structure .

After the technical performance run, I have been given some constructive feedback which I will now take into consideration to improve my performance. Firstly, when I enter the performance space and proceed  to get dressed, removing my dressing gown. Then, just prior to the monologue starting I will display a reaction to the subconscious thoughts, to ensure realism. I will try and complete a simple activity and become stressed, as I can’t accomplish this. Yet, this must pass as I endeavor to forget about my thoughts as much as possible and continue the activity. I must also remember that there will be times when my body is exhausted and lethargic but my mind is racing, thoughts appearing quick and fast and register those. This can be employed by stopping and reflecting as the body becomes unable to function properly. Above all , though I must not  demonstrate the thoughts through mimed emotions or actions as this will hider me from portraying a relationship to and with the audience.

The other feature of my performance which needs to be addressed is my script. I will re-record the monologue , ensuring that I separate the script into sections to build a rhythm into the thoughts and the actions and ensuring that all the script is recorded with absolute clarity and crispness. I must not let the tone of my voice change for each section as it is the words and the rhythm of different parts that affects the movement in the scene. There should also be gaps in the monologue so that the audience can digest information and that the character onstage can prepare for the next move, digesting the information too.

Finally, I will still try my hardest to complete the activity, and not pause as much as I did in rehearsal as this looked unrealistic. Then, at the end of the monologue I will not pause between the final few losses, those displaying the emotions behind the loss of confidence, loss of a pet, loss of love, and loss of life, and concluding by reviewing the journey of loss. Instead  these these will flow as a continuous thought, all of similar magnitude in terms of the depth, intensity and upsetting atmosphere associated with these emotions. Also, due to the tense situation the thoughts would enter my head too quickly to properly process them, until I speculate about the thoughts at the end of the performance.

 

 

 

 

 

I have made adjustments to my solo performance to set a natural presence.

I became aware that my reactions to the recorded monologue weren’t natural and also didn’t include a situation. Instead, I was listening to the monologue on the radio and reacting accordingly. This method didn’t make sense so I decided to think back to where I envisaged my monologue to come from, and that is from my sub-conscious. I then studied how one would react to something in the subconscious and came to the conclusion that one needs to distract themselves in an activity. The other purpose behind my monologue was that it was something that all individuals can relate to. I then started to ponder that if the monologue can interact with the audience then whatever I’m doing  should reinforce this.

Therefore, I considered the idea of writing , trying to distract myself  from my subconscious thoughts however this didn’t really involve a rigid structure. So I started to reflect on the order of my day, tracking every moment and then I came upon the idea of acting through getting ready for the day. This process applies to everyone and involves a determined structure too. However, to make it more interesting I felt I should apply the scenario to me. Therefore, the scene both applies to everyone, everyone gets up and gets dressed for the day, but also to me directly , so my own personal way of getting ready.

Finally, I needed to cogitate over the circumstances of ‘getting ready’, what for?, why?, where? and when?. I will get ready in the morning for a University lecture. So the process of putting on my clothes, having a shave, brushing my hair, packing my bag with books, putting on my jacket and shoes , picking up my keys all must be comprised to constitute realism. To sustain this I will enter the scene with a towel over my head , as though I have just entered from the shower, and then proceed to get dressed .

The monologue will always be in my mind . Sometimes in my reactions I will  ignore it, sometimes accept it , but the main focus must be completing my task, getting ready .

The lighting will now be a white wash throughout cued from when I enter the scene, and the scene will end as the monologue concludes .

As I rehearse my solo performance I am exploring the emotions behind each of my losses, and how these are conveyed through body language, facial expressions, eye contact and posture.

The first loss is losing the will to live. During this I will stretch out my body, portray a dazed expression and let my eyes wander lazily. I will start to fidget,moving my shoulders awkwardly and open my eyes wide, wanting time to whizz away. During the loss of my mobile phone signal, I will clench my fist, and sigh a lot. I will rub my lips in frustration and tap my foot , annoyed at the situation. In the losing my wallet scenario I will clench my teeth and look despairingly to the floor and audience. I will put my hands to my head and shout into nothingness, red with embarrassment. During the loss of my appetite snippet of the performance, I will purse my lips and lean forward then squint uncomfortably, scrunching my shoulders, feeling awkward. When I portray the loss of faith I will look around helplessly, lean forward and clasp my hands as though praying then realize this is not working, an expression of hope. The loss of  time is constituted through placing my hands as a sequence,one after the other,  trying to remember what I need to do. I will breathe heavily and press  my hands to my head, wanting the ticking to stop, expressing desperation. After this, to act losing my marbles I will glance around cautiously, blinking. My mouth will be slightly open and I will squint my eyes. I will be motionless, gazing with suspect at everyone as though vulnerable, examining my hands to check if I feel well , as I hold my hand to my head, an expression of confusion and senselessness.

The next loss I need to portray is the loss of an opportunity at which I will be outraged. My fist will be clenched and I will be itching to move out of my seat. I will be open mouthed, aghast at what has happened and rock my head as though unable to believe the situation. When acting the loss of confidence my body will be shaking and my teeth chattering. I will keep feeling my neck and hand and puff up my cheeks as though feeling unwell. I will scrunch my body up into a ball and in a frightened manner shrink back , my head shrunken. As I perform the loss of a pet my lips will quiver guiltily and I will clasp my hands to my face, not daring or wanting to look. The loss then gets ever more serious as I act the loss of a loved one, crying uncontrollably, all the emotions associated with loss merged into one. This explodes into angry wails in demonstrating the emotions behind the loss of life. Then in the finale of the piece ,I will act by sobbing , unable to comprehend the situation, then guiltily apologizing for the turmoil  within the situations I have put others through. Then I will wipe the tears, and breathe a sigh of relief. However, as I sit more comfortably my eye twitches and I wince, sobbing quietly to myself, as I realize the loss is never forgotten.

Here’s a selection of some of the facial expressions I portrayed in rehearsals

These ideas may be expanded on in future rehearsals. I must ensure though that I don’t exaggerate any emotions . play the piece realistically and act in the moment rather than what the recording is telling me to. I will draw upon Stanislavski’s magic if to create the scenario’s and clearly express these through my emotions. I’ve also decided I will deliver these with my glasses removed, so that expressions can be clearer, and to give a portrayal of already being warn out and exhausted .